Monday, October 3, 2022

T Stands for A Lot Going On or Why I got Behind Commenting

 Hi everyone. Happy Tuesday (or Monday night), and Happy T day to you also.

Sorry for all the writing in this post. Life has had a lot to talk about lately.

 Last week ended with my dog Pete getting sprayed by a skunk, and so I've been battling skunk smell, which never seems to really go away, even running some air purifiers. Those purifiers really help a lot, but skunk is such a tough smell to remove every now and again you still get a little whiff of it.

In the midst of this my 93 year old Mom fell and shattered her wrist.  For some reason her assisted living facility never called an ambulance. (Why didn't they is my question?) That meant my brother and I were left trying to figure out who could bring her in to get x-rays.  It ended up my brother brought her in to get x-rays, and the urgent care where her assisted living sent him transported my mom by ambulance to the hospital. There was talk of surgery. Mom is in pretty good health for 93, but she is not the most active 93 year old, so no surgery for her, which is actually not a bad thing in my mind. (Nor my brother's mind either.) 

Instead Mom was put into a cast and  spent the weekend in the hospital. The hospital did not do a great job calling my brother with info; in fact they didn't  even have his phone number even though he called several times. They also asked about my Dad being contacted, but my Dad passed in 2004. Mom was not at her usual hospital, but I can't say I am impressed with this other facility even though it is a teaching medical school.

Mom is now in the process of being relocated to rehab until her bones heal, which they will. The biggest problem with her broken wrist  is that she needs a walker to get around, and until she heals, mobility is going to be difficult for her.  That whole affair was, and still is, stressful. The good news is Mom had no other injuries in her fall.

And then on Saturday, my daughter was having a "cookout"  with a very small group of people. My husband and I were invited; her fiance's parents, sister and grandparents were invited, and they had one set of friends join us. All we were told  was that they were having a cookout. 

I know my daughter very well though, and I had suspicions there was something else going on.

Those of you who read my blog regularly might have read that I suspected this was going to be more than a cookout. In fact, when we left the house, my husband asked me how convinced I was that this was going to be their wedding. "Are you 80% certain?" were his words. I replied I was 90% certain (giving myself a little room for error) that she and her fiance were getting married. When we arrived, and I saw my daughter in her dress, he looked at me and said, "You were right. They are getting married."

And they did.

It was a very lovely ceremony, officiated by half of the best friends invited.

Here is the entire wedding group minus the 2 best friends.(They were taking the photos.)

You can see most of us were dressed for a chilly fall day cookout.

And here's my drink related photo to T day this week over at Bleubeard's and Elizabeth's blog.
Here we are after dinner out by the firepit enjoying some good conversation and chat.

Last week Elizabeth asked if I minded not being involved with the wedding planning.  Being involved in the wedding planning  didn't bother me as I don't really enjoy planning parties or events, and this wedding was very much my daughter. (Which her wedding should be. There are still parts from my wedding 34 years ago I would have done differently then/and now.) 

I probably would have dressed a bit better for the affair had I been told about it, and I even though I am not one of those party planning people, I  would have recommended a small party  down the road.  I know there are people who are going to be disappointed they couldn't be there. I would never tell my daughter that though, so good thing she doesn't read my blog.

I must say this wedding was the highlight of last week. I am happy for my daughter, and for them as a couple. My daughter's husband (that still sounds strange to me) is a very good man, and I love him to death. They are great together. 

I know I am behind in commenting, so I apologize. I'll be by soon as I plan on doing some catching up ASAP. 
Have a great T day and week ahead. 


Mae Travels said...

Surprise weddings are beyond my understanding, but I’m glad this one works so well for you! Congratulations to everyone.

best… mae at

Angie's Recipes said...

That's a really cool wedding surprise! Hope your mom gets well soon. She doesn't look like 93 at all..maybe 80

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I remember when Nita's daughter got married and how she was with her daughter when she bought the dress and she went to the fitting with her. I guess I thought that would be something you would want to share with your daughter, but it seems you would rather not. Low budget weddings are great, I guess and this one was the lowest I have ever heard of. Glad you are OK with it. It certainly works well for a great T Tuesday post.

Sorry to read about your mother. That care facility where she is living is NOT very good, in my opinion. They are the ones who let her get Covid way back when, and now this. To make matters worse, there was so much confusion at the hospital, too. I would have been going ballistic, if it had been my mom (grandmother in my case).

Take care dear and I hope you have time to destress this week.

Iris Flavia said...

I am sorry...
I heard so many bad things about caring homes. One fears to reach this age - glad your Mom has you and your brother at least!!!

LOL. Your Daughter is some of a kind!!!
Cook-out, well, there can be more!

And I love the outfit!
Mine was a AUD$ 7,99 summer dress from K-Mart. The shoes were more expensive (12,99).

They - you all look soooo happy!
Great wedding, to a wonderful marriage!
And!!! You, too?!
Here we have matching rings! They look the same! Always! (Imagine the trouble we had in Australia finding some, they are as crazy as you are!).

My Brother - or rather his wife... went for a huge party, as a friend of mine did.
No one had much time for anyone, it was both times like going to a "disco" - your daughter (and you) chose better, I think.
We were just a few peeps and in Australia the married couple gets invited to dinner.
Everybody talked to everybody, it was nice and wonderful.

And my dress I can still wear in summer, as your Daughter can hers, too.
My SIL? Expensive and to be worn but once, pfffft.

Happy T- Day ;-)

sirkkis said...

I am sorry about your many troubles, especially that concerns your mothers health.
It was lucky, you got a happy wedding surprise of your daughter. My big congrats!
Have a super day xx

jinxxxygirl said...

I'm so happy for your daughter and husband.. I know i too would have wished for more as i did for my own wedding and my daughters.. But they sure made it their own and are happy and thats the main thing.. Great photos! So glad you shared the happy event! Happy T day! Hugs! deb

Meggymay said...

Many congratulations to your daughter and her husband, it looks like she planned her wedding her way and that is all good as she will have so many memories especially trying to keep her mom from guessing. Great photos of the happy event.
I hope all goes well for your mom, you must have been so worried and wondering how they could leave her without investigation on her wrist.
Yvonne xx

David M. Gascoigne, said...

Sounds to me like a perfect way to conduct a wedding. Who needs all the expense and hype? Reminds me of some of the Mennonite weddings I have been to where everyone brings a pot luck dish, and the couple are married with very little expense. Good luck to the young couple. May they have a long and happy life together. Hugs - David

nwilliams6 said...

So happy for your daughter. By doing it this way, they reduced their stress levels, made sure it was exactly what they wanted instead of what others wanted, and they could enjoy the day versus the trapping everyone gets tied up in. I am so proud of her. Yay! Her ring is gorgeous. Her husband sounds perfect for her.

Sorry to hear about your mother, Erika. I hope she heals faster and better than they think. Imagine how much extra stressed you would have been had there been a big wedding as well. God is good.

Happy Tday and many hugz

Jeanie said...

Congratulations, Erika, to your family and especially your daughter. You needed a good bounce after that week and I can't think of a better one. It looks like a lovely small and intimate group of very special people and I like that idea very much. And, the setting was lovely. You're right -- it is HER wedding! So many moms don't honor that and I admire that you do.

As for your mom -- that's very disturbing and I suspect you and your brother will be having a good long talk with the retirement facility about protocol during a fall if you haven't had that already. I'm glad nothing more major was broken but as you said, when you rely on a walker, a wrist is pretty essential operating equipment. I wonder if there is something like a scooter or one of those walkers with a chair on wheels so she could scoot around using her legs? This will be a toughie. At that age, surgery is only a last-ditch option.

Well, that's quite a week. I'm amazed you've been able to do any art at all! Big smiles!

Empire of the Cat said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mum's wrist Erika, the same thing happened to my mum and she also got a cast instead of surgery. My BIL was with her and nearly fainted at the sight as her bones had to be put back into place and he can't handle medical stuff. Not great about the home, that should have been a priority to call someone and let them know, plus a doctor!

Happier news about your daughter though, Congratulations! I am all for small and cheap weddings, so much money is wasted on grand affairs when it could be used for better purposes. You have to ask yourself, who is it for anyway? Happy T Day! Elle/EOTC xx

Divers and Sundry said...

Your poor mom! It's scary when the professionals we entrust with our elders' care don't seem to fully understand how to do that. I am glad to hear she's expected to heal completely.

What a beautiful way to begin married life :) I love the idea! It's kind of a stay-at-home elopement -the best of both worlds.

Happy T Tuesday

CJ Kennedy said...

I think you need to have a sit down with your mother's assisted living facility. I might even contact a lawyer as there was negligence there. First, how did she fall? Weren't they keeping an eye on her? And not transporting her to the hospital is wrong. She could have had other issues going on that caused the fall. I'm so sorry this happened to your mother. And I'm stunned that your mom received such poor care from that hospital!

Congratulations to you daughter! And to you for understanding what she wanted and going with her wishes. Happy T Day

DVArtist said...

I am so sorry about your mom. I agree about the assisted home. I am glad she will be OK. But yes it is very worrisome and stressful. What a nice surprise and a lovely wedding. Congratulations. Have a lovely day today.

Carola Bartz said...

Erika, this post (at least the second part) brought such a big smile on my face. This is the best wedding, so lovely, as a surprise - exactly the way I love it. Who needs all the big stuff that only costs a ton of money. This certainly is a day to remember. I had a super low key wedding, and my friend later told me it was the nicest wedding she ever attended. So there.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Falls at that age can be difficult and it seems she was lucky. However, I am horrified about how the hospital managed (or not managed) to care for her and keep you and your brother informed. They should have known better, and for a teaching medical hospital this is really poor. I hope your mom will recover fully.

Let's Art Journal said...

Oh my goodness Erika, seems to have been a busy time and how wonderful for your daughter and her now hubby - many congratulations! That's a lovely way to get married and everyone looks like they had a relaxing time, it was their day so they should decide how they wanted it to be and I bet it was perfect for them 😊 ❤️. Sorry to hear about your mum, it's a good job you and your brother got everything sorted for her and I hope that she makes a speedy recovery. Take care and Happy T Day! Hugs Jo x

Aimeslee Winans said...

Congratulations to you all! I was the exact same way with my daughter's wedding. We must have both raised independent smart women (both blondes, to boot! haha). And we both felt similar sighs of relief at not having to plan like prior generations, I know my sigh was huge! I'm very happy for them and actually love the cookout wedding idea. And the weather looked perfect! xoxo

Aimeslee Winans said...

Sorry, got carried away and forgot to say I sure hope your mom recovers. Erika, no one I know here recently has been happy with hospital interaction. The whole get them out to a facility thing before anyone is really ready is part of the problem, I think. But a few horror stories I've been told were just plain incompetence and mega missed details. Tis a very scary thing just as I'm entering old age at 66. Prayers that she can get her strength back and the bones heal. XOX

pearshapedcrafting said...

It doesn't sound as though your Mom's care home or the hospital were able to deal with your Mom's accident very well.
The cook out wedding sounds brilliant- our children surprise us sometimes in their actions. As long as they're happy it's easy to go along with their wishes Congrats all round!! Hugs, Chrisx

pearshapedcrafting said...

It doesn't sound as though your Mom's care home or the hospital were able to deal with your Mom's accident very well.
The cook out wedding sounds brilliant- our children surprise us sometimes in their actions. As long as they're happy it's easy to go along with their wishes Congrats all round!! Hugs, Chrisx

Kate Yetter said...

What a wonderful reason to be behind on commenting. That is great they were able to have a ceremony to their taste. Weddings get far too much attention. I think more emphasis should be put on the journey together.
Sorry to hear about your dog getting skunked. That sounds awful.
Your poor mother. Healthcare facilities are not the greatest with communication. I hope that she heals quickly and without complications.
Happy Tea Day,

kathyinozarks said...

So sorry about your mother in law, but good she didn't break her hip-that would have been much worse. I agree no surgery is a good idea if not absolutely needed for her age-my Mom had broken her hip in her mid 80's, after surgery she woke up with severe dementia
sounds like a perfect wedding:small, informal, and just a few close people--Larry and I had a blue jean wedding at our small farm in Illinois-we all had a blast-tons of food that people brought in, a homemade cake-etc, sounds perfect what your daughter did-hugs

kathyinozarks said...

oops so sorry I was thinking mother in law but this was your Mom-perhaps after she heals, you can find a better care facility for her-hugs

Michelle said...

Wow! That was quite a week. Many congrats to your daughter and new son-in-law! I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s shattered wrist. Such an ordeal when you are 93. And so sorry about the skunk incident. Hoping that situation continues to improve.

Neet said...

It suddenly occurred to me that I had not checked to see if the cookout was indeed a wedding - WOW, it was. Congratulations on gaining a son in law and on being so perceptive. I think it was a lovely way to do it - hats off to the young couple.
So sorry however to hear about your mom. I do hope that she gets looked after better now and is soon able to return to her normal life.
You certainly do things all at once - hopefully that is your three, counting Pete the dog.
Hugs, Neet xx

Mrs.B said...

Just catching up as I'm always so behind on commenting these day - Congratulations to you daughter and her new hubby, what a surprise for you. I think the wedding sounds lovely, very personal, just family and close friends - the people that matter.
Hope your Mom has a speedy recovery.
Avril xx