It is T day over at Bleubeard's and Elizabeth's blog. I hope my post isn't too much of a downer today.
Since yesterday, Monday, was my mother's funeral, I can't say I have a lot to share this week. Her funeral was very sad, but very nice. We kept it small, just immediate family, and we had a wonderful multi-faith pastor run the service. I'm not sure pastor is the right term, as she could perform a funeral in several religions. I hadn't heard of someone being able to do this before, and I think she might be called on for someone (like my mother) if they were not a member of any specific church, synagogue, mosque, etc.community already. I really liked this woman. She was lovely and on top of her game dealing with grieving families. As a former teacher, I think she understood my mom who was also a former teacher. Although she never met my mother, she did a wonderful job tailoring (from the bits and pieces we shared) how we wanted to say goodbye to her.
Afterwards the family went out for lunch and a beer, not that my mom was a big drinker, but we all needed to unload for a little while. As we ate, my brother realized that I am the oldest member of my immediate family, and everyone decided I am the new matriarch. It is meant more in love and jest, but I keep thinking about some of those old soap opera style TV shows from the 80's when I hear that word. Smile.
Here's my T day link.
How nice that you are now recognized as the matriarch of your family. The glue that binds the family together. I love thinking about the women in my family and how I'm a link in a chain held by my mother's hand, held by her mother's hand and back through the line, but also forward as I hold my daughters' hands. May your mother's memory be a blessing.
So sorry for your loss Erika, so difficult to say goodbye to our parents.
When Larry and I were married we searched for such a person as the one you found for the services for the funeral.
We were of different faiths and she performed a lovely marriage service for us so she was perfect at the time
hugs and prayers Kathy
My heartfelt condolences on your loss Erika. I love the way your family stayed strong together
Oh Erika, I am so sorry. These emotions will be with you for awhile. Just take each day slowly and allow your soul to heal. Much love and blessings.
I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your mother. I wish you strength in dealing with all the challenges of this sad time for you and your family. I think that a lot of families quietly feel as if they have a matriarch! So I wish you a productive time in that role.
best… mae at maefood.blogspot.com
My heart goes out to you dear Erika, sending you love and comfort dear friend! It sounds like the funeral was perfect for your mum and a lovely way to say goodbye 😊. I love your bee mug, it's charming! I'll take a few cookies to eat with my cuppa too! Take care and sending hugs to you and your family! Happy T Day wishes! Hugs Jo x
I am sorry for your loss and am glad that the service brought you peace. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
Sounds like a very good service! Yes, it´s a roller coaster.
Huh, now that you mention... I am the oldest one, too. But my "little" Brother is much more mature.
Hugs. I might get easier soon. I hope.
So now you are the matriach, that's a nice idea! I can imagine how hard the funeral was, and I'm glad that you had a sympathetic lady who took the funeral. Take it easy for a time, you need to be nice to yourself. Hugs, Valerie
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Erika. Try to relax a bit.
Oh I missed that, I hadn’t realized. My heartfelt condolences. So you had a difficult day yesterday. And so sweet of your family members to declare you Matriarch.
How wonderful you had an understanding ‘pastor’. I have met one in the UK and had her talk to our church Mother’s Union as nobody understood what these people are and do.
Happy T Day,
OxoxoxO - My Sincere Condolences My Friend
I can feel your wave of emotion as you shared uour thoughts on the funeral yesterday. It's good you found a non-denominational pastor to conduct the service.
For some reason, I don't see you as old enough to be the matriarch, but I guess age doesn't have a lot to do with it.
Wow, those cookies look good. Nothing like homemade cookies to go with your bee mug tea.
Thanks for sharing your mother's funeral and your cookies and tea with us for T this Tuesday, dear Erika.
OH, I am so sorry to hear about your mother, Erika. I know nothing I can say will make it better but just know that I am praying for you as you grieve.
Eat cookies, drink tea and find comfort in the small things.
Funerals are never easy. In England that lady would be called a Celebrant, which I think is a good name. Getting together afterwards is a good idea too, a chance to reflect in the company of family and friends.
Good luck on being the Matriarch (as I seem to be ours) Happy T Day, Chrisx
Erika I am so sorry to read about the loss of your Mom, words can be spoken at these times and love sent your way, with the hope it will ease some of the pain you must be feeling, I send you and your family all my love and heartfelt wishes.
It sounds like a lovely service. I think I would like that kind of moderator (for lack of a better word) for mine. I don't think you have to be a minister to lead such a thing but someone who is caring and compassionate and can listen and put things together well. Sounds like the right person.
I know these times are very hard, and I'm sure the suddenness makes it more so. Even when we see people beginning to fail, that final loss always seems fairly unexpected. Not that day. Or tomorrow. Maybe someday, even soon. But not now. Your emotions are going to be up and down a lot -- the first "whatever" without her. The first day you might usually go visit -- but can't. Just be very gentle with yourself and hold her close to your heart. She's there. You just can't "see" her. But she's there.
I can understand your roller coaster of emotions and it might last like this for a bit longer. Look after yourself and do yourself something good. The pastor you had sounds like a lovely woman who knows how to connect with grieving families. You are in my thoughts, Erika.
I am so pleased the funeral was perfect for your mother.
This is such an emotional time, it is never easy, but I am sure you have many lovely memories.
Thinking of you and sending my good wishes.
All the best Jan
PS Your tea and biscuits look good :)
Thank you, Erika, for sharing the information about your mother’s services. From what you wrote, it seems that the minister was the perfect choice. The coming holidays will surely be sadder, but memories of good times shared can help. As others have commented, take time for yourself. Many of us have shared the same emotions after losing a parent.
Hugs, prayers and an endless supply of tea and cookies, XOX
Pleased to hear that all went well with your mum's funeral Erika.
Sending prayers and hugs,
Erika .......... i didn't come for T last week. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother.... there are no words... but i have hugs.........deb
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