Monday, April 18, 2022

T Stands for A Glass of Wine or Two

Hi everyone. 

I hope the new week has started well, and if you celebrated Easter or Passover this past weekend, you have a nice holiday celebration.

  It is already  time for another T Day post over at  Bleubeard and Elizabeth's blog .

Before I get too far into this post, I want to share this pretty Easter card I received in the mail from our lovely T Day hostess.

Thank you dear Elizabeth and Bleubeard too. The rocking  bunny is a cute stamp. I also love your hand dyed background. The colors are amazing. 

 It is always fun to get happy mail! And I might (in the future) have to recycle some of that paper too. Smile. 

The last week has been a busy one for me. I did some yard work, took several walks, met up with a couple of friends, and also, along with my husband, had MIL duty last weekend. 

My MIL is 88 years old and has been in a long slow downward spiral for a few years now. Contrary to my husband's opinion, I don't think she is on her last legs of life, but she is at the point where she needs  some regular  care. Family dynamics are interesting though, and how much care she needs is not something my husband and his 2 sisters totally agree upon. Or I should be totally honest and say that level of care is something my husband and one of his sister's mostly agree upon, as his other sister only does the minimum she must do because she is really just concerned with what she can get out of something. 

Then you throw in us in-law children. My MIL has 2 son-in-laws and me, as my husband is her only son. One son-in-law is a really big hearted and generous man. The other one doesn't want to deal with my MIL at all. You can probably guess who is married to which daughter in the brief description I mentioned in the last paragraph.  As for me, the only daughter-in-law, I love my MIL, have known her more than half my life, but she is very different from my mother . Let's just say that some of the attitudes about life I learned from my mother are not my MIL's view of the world. I'm not saying either attitude is right or wrong or even better or worse, just different. 

 I don't want to get too heavy in this post, so let me just say that my husband's family dynamics can be exhausting. Thanks goodness my mother "trained" my brother and I along the same line of thought so we can be straight up with each other (and therefore have worked together really well) when it's come to care issues.  I must also say I hoped I've "trained" my daughter in the way I want to be cared for when I am at a point I need that kind of care also.

Anyhow, my husband opened up my MIL's house so she could stay there for a few days while we've had MIL care. (She's been living over in Maine with one of my SIL's in the winter for the last several years, and my husband always closes up her house when she's gone.) My MIL's house is about a half an hour away, so we've been going back and forth between her house and ours, checking in, making and having dinner with her, doing some chores and trying to do a few things she'd like. My MIL is a very social woman, and she loves a pre-dinner glass of white wine (or 2) as dinner gets made.  I certainly wasn't going to make her drink alone. Ha-ha.

I raise a glass and say cheers to my MIL.

Maddie has also loved this weekend  as she's the first one, as usual, to go into  the lake swimming for the year, even if 2 weeks ago there was still ice on the lake.

And since my husband has spent quite a bit of time at the house this past weekend, he managed to uncover his boat. He stores it there covered up in the winter because since no one is at the house during that season, it isn't in anyone's way. He's always happy when he gets to uncover his boat.

I must say our care weekend was successful. Even though my MIL still thinks I can't cook (and tries to tell me how to make something, which I just say OK and then ignore), she told me  many times how delicious the salmon was, the ribs were and  Easter dinner was, etc.. One night we bought pizza, which was not something she thinks of as dinner, but it was from a restaurant she likes so no complaints. She ate well and slept in her own bed and got to spend some time at her house.  And of course got to enjoy her glass of wine also.

Thanks for making it through this post. I hope you have a nice T day and week ahead.


Kate Yetter said...

Ah, yes, we all have crazy family dynamics at times. It is always nice to hear that there are still people who care for their family members because they care and it is the right thing to do.
Your hubby's boat looks beautiful and well taken care of. I bet you are excited for warmer weather so that you can take it out.
Happy Tea Day,

jinxxxygirl said...

Family drama.. we all have it Erika... I'm sure we can all commiserate in one shape form or another.. Sounds like you did a wonderful job.. I just tell myself it takes all kinds to make the world go around.. lol Happy happy T day! Sounds like you need a second cup of tea! Hugs! deb

Angie's Recipes said...

wow I would love to have my own boat! Your husband's boat looks really cool, Erika.

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I have no living relatives, so I enjoyed reading about your family dynamics. This was a fun post to read and I loved that you got to spend time with your MIL, cook for her, and share a glass (or two) of wine with her. Thanks for sharing this weekend with us for T this almost Tuesday, dear Erika.

kathyinozarks said...

Thanks for sharing-that was wonderful that it was possible she could spend time in her own home again-that is special and many don't realize that.
I live away from my hometown, so when my Mom needed care my brother was there-but not in a good way sadly families are complicated for sure.
Your husband must be so excited to get his boat ready for the water-I enjoy those photos you share.
hope you don't get the snow I am reading about for the east coast, we are getting another freeze tonight though.
I opened up a bottle of semi dry wine tonight-we usually drink reds but this one was good Happy T

Valerie-Jael said...

I just wrote a long comment and it disappeared. The stories between the generations, and inlaws and family seem to be same the world over. My mum also thought she was the only one on this earth who could cook! Happy T day and have a fun week, hugs, Valerie

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

You left a comment about the napkins on my blog and I wanted to add a comment. The smaller napkins that are approximately 4 inches square are tea napkins. The larger napkins, like the one I used in my Angel of the Morning page the other day are the size of dinner napkins. I will probably look for the dinner napkin sized decorator napkins. Thanks for your comment and I guess I should have clarified the different sizes.

Empire of the Cat said...

Fam Dram! Sounds like your MIL knows how to enjoy life, eating well and enjoying her wine. Happy T Day! Elle/EOTC xx

nwilliams6 said...

Family dynamics are tough and have lasting effects on everyone including our children who watch us. We all need to be very careful how we treat our parents as it will be how we may be treated when we are at that stage - I pity your SIL! I also know God watches all this as well.

Your MIL is lucky to have a great son and you (plus at least one caring daughter and SIL). That is more than most people have.

I smiled at your shared wine - lovely times and I know she cherished that time as well.

Your husband looks very happy - I love when the weather gets warmer and we can do more outside adventures.

Happy T-day, Erika. Hugz

Divers and Sundry said...

I have one sister, and her degree of involvement during the time Mother needed help was minimal and decreased over time. I just had to resign myself to it, as, well, what else could I do? *sigh* She just has never had much family feeling in that direction, and I never even hear from her any more. I trust she'll let me know if she needs anything... I hope your situation will provide more support than that and more support as your MIL needs more care.

Those meals sound delicious! I raise a glass in honor of your efforts :) Happy T Tuesday

Oh, and what a pretty boat! When people say "boat" I picture Daddy's little fishing boat and forget about what yours looks like 'til I see a photo. How exciting to know the season for it is almost here!

CJ Kennedy said...

Ah, dealing with Elders. In my family, it was expected that taking care of parents was a daughter's job. So that responsibility fell to me. My brother wanted no part of taking care of our parents. The one time my mother asked him to go to the store, he griped about it. Himself, God bless him, did all the things my brother should have done, the lawn, snow removal, home repairs. And he spotted me for appointments and shopping when I couldn't. With my brother out of the picture, it did make things easier when we realized my parents could no long safely stay in their own home. Dad had Alzheimer's and Ma had had a stroke and dementia (not Alz). I didn't have to ask permission or consult with my brother on the best course of treatment. He didn't like the idea of having to put them in a nursing home. Said he wish we had a choice. I said, there's always a choice. I asked him if he would be willing to take both of them (they were 90) in to his home and see that they got the care they needed. Crickets. Ok, I didn't have the room in my home either. Would you be willing to pay someone to care for them 24/7. I've researched the cost and it was around $250,000 per year. I don't have that kind of money! I didn't either. So I told him our only choice was a nursing home. I better stop! I didn't mean to blog on your blog 😸 The boat looks nice hopefully, you'll have a good long season for boating. Happy T Day!

Carola Bartz said...

Family can be lovely and exhausting at the same time. My siblings are both living in Germany and the contact is close to zero. My parents are long gone, I still miss them. My in-laws are a different bunch, very different from my parents. I do like my husband's brothers. Since everybody is living in Europe, we only see them when we are in Europe. - A glass of wine before dinner sounds good! It is lovely that you and your husband (and the one SIL and her husband) are taking such good care of your MIL.
Thank you for telling me for the Janet Klein cat stamps!

Sharon Madson said...

It is so nice that you could do this for your mother-in-law. I am sure in her way she was thrilled with this time with family and time in her home. I don't know if I already said this, but my mom & dad's dog, a mixed blond lab was named Maddie, I think short for Madison. I enjoyed reading your post. Happy T day.

DVArtist said...

Ohhhh families.... I do like the boat and hubby seems quite proud of it. I have never had a MIL. Mr. M's. mom passed when his was 16, so I haven't had to deal with that. LOL Have a great day.

Let's Art Journal said...

How cute are those rocking bunny rabbits and I love your tie dyed background - perfect 😀. I hope you had a lovely Easter too! Family dynamics are always hard, they say you can choose your friends but not your family (grin!). We had a similar situation last year with my MIL who has dementia and I feel your pain; let's just say it's such a shame when people think of themselves rather than caring for the person. I know how stressful it can be, but stay true to your own values and caring nature. So lovely to get the boat out again, I can't wait to see your trips out on the water 😉. Happy T Day! Hugs Jo x

Jeanie said...

I'm glad it's going well with her and that you could spend some productive time at the lake, too. Family dynamics... Sometimes I think I was lucky being an only child. It was tough when illness came but there wasn't that tension that sometimes happens. I salute you both for good care. That's not a bad distance -- a bit of a hike but it had to be nice for her to be home and probably better than on top of each other. Who can say? But I'm glad it's worked out all right. (Love the card!)

Iris Flavia said...

Rocking bunnies, cute!
MIL, oh. Family is always difficult. When the time comes... I don´t know who will step in here.
My parents are long gone and I hope for myself one day I go for a stroll and kabooom, that´s it, no has to take care of me.
I had it with my parents and my neighbor, Wolfgang, told me way too much about caring for his wife (gone now, too and she was not herself no more...).

I hope you find a "good" way.
If it´s white wine, perfect!

Your Maddie sure is tough and WOW on the boat!

The rest of your post sounds happy - hugs from here, sorry for being late...

Bridget Larsen said...

aww families are complicated, your husband is awesome looking after his mums house while she is away.
Bridget #20